Tears Shed Over Answered Prayers, or, How to Marry a Millionaire

03.25.2005 | Jonathan Leaf | Cultural Affairs | 6 Comments
I have a passing acquaintance with one of the two authors of the recent How To Marry A Multimillionaire: The Ultimate Guide To High Net Worth Dating, a man who writes under the pseudonym of Ted Morgan.

He has reason to seek anonymity. For not only does the book divulge quite a bit of scurrilous gossip about the rich and famous, but it very cynically – and sometimes very amusingly – provides instruction on how gold-digging women can become part of the clique. And while some of its advice is strictly tongue in cheek, as when it suggests staying thin by abusing amphetamines, a lot of it is actually very sound and sensible counsel.

Men don’t really care about women’s struggles with their weight, it tells us. A good way to meet rich men is by selling high-end real estate, private planes or fine art. A job doing any of these things is a sage path to marrying a rich man. Men with kinky or odd sexual tastes are easier to cater to insofar as they’ll put up with a lot to have these desires fulfilled. A man who will send a private plane to pick a woman up is actually very insecure.

Pithily written and wry, the book includes detailed information and lists of everything from who the richest single men in the world are, to what their favorite ski resorts and hotels are, what charity events they attend and how to obtain vital medical and legal documents for if and when they become seriously ill or incapacitated.  Also listed are the most preferred spas among magnates and a list of the most influential society benefit hostesses.

There is specific and maliciously savvy instruction on how to handle conflicts with new in-laws and children, the psychiatrists in a given tycoon’s life, researching a man’s net worth and handling rejection in the pursuit of a Croesus.

For the would-be gold-digger the book is a gold-mine.

Should we be appalled? Is this a sign of the decline and fall of our culture? I don’t think so. Those who will read the book need no persuading that the superficial and meretricious things in life are the ones worth pursuing. They believe this already. If anything, the book’s icy, sardonic tone may force them to question their aims and ambitions, presenting them with that lesson long ago spoken of in the Bible: “More tears are shed over answered than unanswered prayers.”

In any event, how many women are seeking out billionaires as lovers and how many are seeking out rap stars? And which is more horrific? If it must be one or the other, count this impoverished writer on the side of the super-rich. Better that the superficial seek out a Sugar Daddy than P. Diddy.

An amusing piece, but the author has confused Holy Scripture with Truman Capote -- something I doubt even he did while relaxing with his favorite painkillers.
03.25.2005 | Scott McLemee
well written.where can we find this book?
Can you also compile a list of available millionaires?
tellya somethin'..... after all,on the end of the day,love is good only for pets.
03.25.2005 | venusofatlantis
To commenter #1: The quote is neither from the Bible nor Capote. We're both wrong. It's from St. Teresa of Avila.

To commenter #2: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1561718807/002-3289544-4116032?v=glance
03.27.2005 | Jonathan Leaf
the quotation does appear in my work, and does not appear in the Bible.... so no, BOTH of you aren't wrong...
03.27.2005 | truman capote
Where is the book for men looking for rich women? Seems a bit one sided. Maybe this author wrote this book because he is looking to meet a hot woman but when you look at the Forbes list, rich women are not necessarily hot women.

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